creatingalegacy | } 049 - [VOICE]

} 049 - [VOICE] - Private to 21

I was wrong. There is a way.

I was just too fuckin'...willfully ignorant to see it.

Tell me about it. I'm listening.

I said that regretting all the things I've done doesn't count for shit when I can't change any of it...but I was wrong. I can change it.

Let's say I have a chance to go back in time, okay? Just...hypothetically. I go back to that night at the clinic, I make it so that I never pushed Cecil into robbing the place. Jill doesn't lose the baby, she and John stay together, and they have their son.

Do you see the point I'm making? None of the Jigsaw events would have ever happened if things turned out that way. Everything's fucking fixed.

Could be, I see the point you're making. But...I dunno, when you see a lot of stuff about time travel you get a running theme of things turning out worse even when there are good intentions.

It might be that the Admiral can do that, but I dunno, Amanda. I think I'm supposed to be showing you that some things you can't undo.

I can't undo my own memories. The guilt, the fucking nightmares. I'd remember everything.

And at the same time...they wouldn't remember; John and Jill. They wouldn't remember the time we shared. I wouldn't be a daughter to them anymore. I can't even fuckin' begin to figure out how to deal with that, but I figure it's the least I can do. I'll remember, even if they don't, and I think that if I get to see them happy, that can be enough.

All the victims, too--they'll have their lives back. All of them, not just John's and mine, but Hoffman's and Gordon's, too. They're mostly a bunch of fuckups, but...y'know, so was I.

When I graduate, this is what I'm doing.

...I'll ask the Admiral about it.

I dunno, he might want more than your graduation for it. What are you gonna do then?

You don't need to. That's what I'm gonna ask for in exchange for becoming a warden.

He's made bigger deals with wardens before. If being able to genuinely rehabilitate someone isn't enough to prove that I'm serious...then the whole system is bullshit.