creatingalegacy | } 052 - [PUBLIC, VIDEO] - the (more awkward than) glorious return

} 052 - [PUBLIC, VIDEO] - the (more awkward than) glorious return

[When the camera comes on, Amanda's room is visibly different; the bleak concrete warehouse space turned into a very small studio apartment between her departure and return. The apartment is pretty sparsely furnished, but it still looks much less stark and cold than her former setup.

Amanda herself looks fine, if a bit anxious. She feels incredibly out of place as a warden, but she's determined.]

So...

[There's slightly awkward pause.]

I'm back.

[Yet another, but shorter, pause.]

How long has it been since I left, in Barge-time? I spent two weeks in New York. Y'know, checking out what I left behind, setting things in order, that kind of shit. Getting closure.

[She resettles herself in the chair she's occupying, sitting up straighter and projecting an image of greater confidence. Even if she doesn't quite feel it, she wants everyone to think she does. Even her voice sounds more assured, bordering on her good ol' cocksure tone.]

I know I just got back and everything, but I'm all ready for the Admiral to give me an inmate. Can't start soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, are there warden positions open in maintenance and repair or the engine room? Working with my hands helps me focus.

[She definitely has more detailed things to say about her trip, but right now, only to people she knows she can trust; at a later date, when it isn't all so fresh, she'll likely talk about it on a public filter.]

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Almost a week. I'm not sure. I've been distracted.

How was the trip?

Edited 2012-01-22 01:43 (UTC)

It was...complicated. Things have become so much worse than we left them when we died, and seeing it...

The message is spreading. There are more and more adherents every fucking day. Jigsaw's not a person or a select group anymore--it's a movement. Even if all of them fall, more will rise on their own to take their place.

[She sighs and puts her head in her hands, rubbing at her face.]

Talk about being distracted. The goddamn pressure I'm under is worse than anything I expected.

Edited 2012-01-22 02:00 (UTC)

Movements are always dangerous. As much as mindless representatives of anything can be. [No offense to her, he thought she had a mind and was misled, but he doubts these people would go through the trouble of reading philosophy.]

It's a lot of pressure.

It's not that they're mindless, it's that they need to believe. The test subjects...they never had anything else to put faith in, but now the promise is even more empty. John isn't there anymore, and the humanity of it is gone. Gordon doesn't feel anything for any of the people he tests; I'm not sure if he feels anything at all anymore. He came last, but he ended up being the most successful product of John's apprentice method.

Edited 2012-01-22 02:19 (UTC)

It seems miserable. Being given something to believe in only to stop feeling.

[He's had a lot to think about recently.]

Yeah, well, I died when I couldn't stop feeling and Hoffman used it against me. There are no winners.

[She's slumped low in the chair now, head settled on the backrest.]

It wasn't all terrible. The cemetery was nice--well taken care of and quiet. Peaceful. It's really a beautiful place.

It sounds it.

Do you think, if you change things, he'll end up there again?

Edited 2012-01-22 20:08 (UTC)

Hoffman? I'm not getting any of his memories of events erased. The bastard doesn't deserve the easy way out.

I meant John. Hoffman's madness would have existed without John. Obviously he's capable of enough of it here without even referencing him.

If Gideon lives, John will never go mad. I'm gonna try to get the prevention of his cancer guaranteed, too. I worded my deal in a way that should give me that.

So, no. John and Jill will stay together, they'll have their son, and they'll be a very happy little family. I won't be a part of it--they won't remember our time together--but...

[She shrugs, looking a little miserable.]

That's how it should have been in the first place.

I think a family based around life rather than death is remarkable gift. I think you've done very well for yourself.

But I know it hurts.

[It's hard to console someone after so much loss.] You know... when I'm done here and I leave, you're welcome to visit me.

...I just might take you up on that.

I only have one family member yet, and she has yet to be born, technically. I would appreciate it.

[He doesn't know how to say that it's tiring to have people vanish out of his life.]

[ You'd better be trying to put on a show; Lua's pretty sure you are but she's seen what this place did to other people. She's got on one of her own, like she's happy to see you and nothing else is going on. ]

About a week. Not much you missed.

Heh. Figures, the one time I'm not here is the first week ever without some kind of disaster.

Things are shit back home, but it is still my world. I don't know whether to feel homesick or relieved that I'm back.

You say that and something's going to happen.

Anything for you there now?

No, not anymore. The Jigsaw thing has gotten much worse, and the regular people only remember me to hate me. The survivors revere me, but for horrible reasons.

There's nothing there for me until I rectify everything we did.

[ She frowns more and more as Amanda keeps talking. ] That's... he better let you fix it, then. Make all this worth it.

If he doesn't, I'll track his ass down and make him change his mind.

Bet you could.

MIssed you while you were gone.

[She looks a little touched. Even after graduating, she's not used to having people around who'd miss her, and she still doesn't exactly know the right thing to say in reply.]

Would you believe Jill paid for a burial plot in the same cemetery where she buried John and their son? Not too far away, either--just a few steps from the three of them. I saw it when I went to pay my respects.

I didn't have any biological family, or friends. The city should have cremated and disposed of my body like every other unclaimed corpse, but Jill...

[She starts to choke up.]

I need to save them, Lua.

[ oh no now she wants to cry ]

They loved you. It's what you do.

[ She could mean a lot of things. ]

That's why I know I can do this, even though it means they won't remember me and my time with them will have never happened. I know that in another reality, they loved me when nobody else did. It was all twisted up into something hurtful, but they did, even if it fucked me up.

They deserve to be happy. I'm gonna give that to them.

[ She wishes she knew how to do that, but isn't about to say that, not even to someone she trusts. ]

Then give it to them. Give them the life you think they should have had.

You're going to do this, Amanda, promise.

I hope so. I really do.

Thank you, Lua.

[ She shakes her head; no need for compliments. ] You do what you start out to, that's something I knew even before I met you.

Around a week, yes.

I wonder if there's a single damn world where time runs in sync with this place.

Time is often referred to a stream because it can be entered at any point.

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} 052 - [PUBLIC, VIDEO] - the (more awkward than) glorious return

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