creatingalegacy | } 062 - [VOICE]

} 062 - [VOICE] - back again

So.

[Amanda sounds...indifferent. Not honestly indifferent; it's got an air of practice to it, like she rehearsed her tone.]

I'm back.

[There isn't much she wants to say to the general population at the moment, all things considered, so...have her lackluster public announcement.]

[Private to Lua]

Are you back yet? [Please be back. Amanda's missed her like crazy.]

If you are, I'm sorry. I didn't expect to be gone so long, but I needed to wait for something.

[Private to Rhade]

[A little playfully:] Miss me?

[Private to Hoffman]

[There's nothing on the network for him. Instead, she's left a newspaper in front of his door. It's an issue of the New York Times, dated 2003...a new 2003.

She's used a red marker to circle a small article: the announcement of Gideon Kramer's birth, the first child of renowned civil engineer John Kramer and Jill Tuck, his philanthropist wife.]

[OOC: Sorry I vanished! I had to hiatus suddenly due to my perpetually shitty health.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If it won't hurt you to come here, I'd like that.

I'll be down in a few minutes then. [And he leaves to go to her room.]

[Doo doo doo. Amanda's making two cups of tea for them.]

[He knocks and even though he's standing formally as he usually does, he's holding his bad hand at the wrist behind his back. When she opens the door she gets one of his patented charming smiles.]

Long time no see. [And she's going to get a light kiss on the forehead. Sorry there, Amanda.]

[Amanda doesn't even mind the kiss. She smiles back at him and gives him a long, tight hug.]

I missed you, you know.

[He oofs a little. His broken ribs were repaired, but they still ache. He hugs back nonetheless.] You better have.

[She releases him from the hug and indicates her couch with a gesture. There are two mugs of hot green tea on the old steamer trunk she uses for a coffee table.]

Home was nicer this time. No threat of marshal law, no roaming band of serial killers, no graves to visit...

I do think that sounds far better. [He has a seat, letting his braced hand rest on his knee when he sits and taking the mug with his good one.] Did you get to speak with them?

[Amanda gives his brace a quick but careful look. There's no way she won't raise the subject again later. Now she lifts her mug, cupping both hands around it. There's a silent pause.]

No. They don't remember anything.

[She blows on her tea a little, trying to cool it.]

I'm sorry. [He says honestly.] But I understand. [He says that honestly, too.]

It's better this way. They could never live with themselves if they remembered what they did.

[She takes a tiny sip of her tea--still too hot--and winces a bit. She blows on it again, and then turns to Rhade with a soft smile, and there's some peace in it.]

Jill gave birth. Gideon is alive and well.

Excellent. [That actually does make him smile, as it would make any Nietzschean smile. Parenting a child will always be an honor.] It seems you've given him a healthier home to grow in, as well.

They're the kind, charitable people they used to be. Gideon's death turned John cold; the suicide attempt after his cancer diagnosis made him Jigsaw.

[She blows on the liquid again, and then takes another sip. Still hot, but not scalding. It'll do.]

My deal took care of the cancer, too. The three of them are going to lead good lives.

As an unpleasant opinion, this is why I always abhorred when people claimed to have no deal when they came here. If they were successful, there was still much they could do. Simply being here to 'help people' always seemed hypocritically selfish, unless there was something psychological they had to make up for.

[He's still letting his cool, warming his good hand in the process.]

But Hoffman will still need to correct his own mistakes, if I remember the course of events correctly?

[She nods.]

His sister's death had nothing to do with Jigsaw. It happened before...everything.

[And although he hasn't said much, she knows that's what he'll take as his deal. She laughs a little, wryly, and shakes her head.]

God, it's like someone couldn't be Jigsaw unless they were all fucked up over their family, you know? Makes me wonder what I'm gonna do now that mine isn't really mine anymore.

[She mentioned to Rhade before that she wants to go to school, but saying something and living it are two very different things.]

[He puts down his coffee cup and leans forward, reaching out to smooth out her hair.] What I think is your family will always be your family. Whether you can be there for them or not. They are still yours, and you've given them what they needed.

[He taps the underside of her chin with a slight smile, before leaning back to sit more comfortably.] Fortunately there's also not a numerical limit on family. So it doesn't have to stop growing.

No shit. What do you think you and Lua are to me, exactly?

[She smiles back at him. Despite how much it hurts to live with the fact that John and Jill will never remember their time with her, she's reached a kind of peace with it. She doesn't feel the need to cry.]

And I'm glad to have you. [He says honestly.] Especially when it is difficult to be away from mine, sometimes.

I know that feeling well.

[Amanda's now almost entirely used to people other than John and Jill wanting her around, but it still gives her a warm feeling to hear it.]

When Gideon was born, it was like...a weight had been lifted. So much of the guilt and the self-hatred just...

[She shrugs. The guilt and hate over the Jigsaw victims is still there, but she's come to terms with what originally happened to Gideon.]

Closure? ....Yes, I know what that's like. I felt it when I heard Dylan say he just missed his friend.

[And he chooses then to drink his tea, to cover up a reaction. But yes, he does understand.]

You mentioned a Dylan earlier. Who is he?

[There's a long pause as he finds his cup intensely interesting.]

He's the man that I killed. And that I had to let kill me when I had a chance to fix things. He was my captain and my friend...

[It's complicated.] And I had to see him die again out there. Whatever those things were, I hope their arrogance implodes and makes their indulgent civilization collapse in on itself.

[Amanda closes her eyes for a moment. That...it's too close to what she had to do, only she didn't have to die to make things right. She rubs his shoulder.]

I'm so sorry, Gaheris. Is he recovering now?

Yes. And still being optimistic about it. The idiot. [There is still something fond in that insult, though.]

[She half-smirks.]

Don't you just hate optimism?

} 062 - [VOICE] - back again

[Private]

[Private --> Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

Re: [Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

Re: [Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

Re: [Spam]

[Spam]

Re: [Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

[Spam]

Re: [Spam]