creatingalegacy: Amanda holding the edge of a knife to her lips in a "be quiet" gesture. (Default)
POST CONTENTS:
- Application, including history and personality details
- List of Games
- Soundtrack


Read more... )
creatingalegacy: (relieved)
[PRIVATE, VOICE - separately each to Lua, Rhade, and Jesse]
I wanna see you.


[PRIVATE, TEXT - to Hoffman]

If you want to see me before I go, tell me now.


[PUBLIC, VIDEO]


[Amanda is, once again, seated on her bed. This time, there's a suitcase next to her, and she's got a jacket on.]

I think it's time, Barge.

[Amanda rubs her face in her hands, as she can't quite believe it.]

I've done all I can here. Lua can stand proud, on her own. I've done all I can for John, Jill and Gideon. All the Jigsaw victims are alive and whole again, and I mean every damn one of 'em.

It might actually be time to start living my own life.

[She pauses, looking thoughtful.]

...I think I'll go to school for mechanical engineering. I mean, hey--why not? It's fulfilling, and I'm damn good. Maybe I can use it to help people for once.

[Another pause.]

I don't think I'll be back; I'm almost positive I won't. I'm sure some of you will be glad to see me go, and I sure as hell won't be missing all of you. But I'll miss enough of you that this is hard...

Dammit. I fuckin' suck at goodbyes.
creatingalegacy: Amanda looking to the side. (looking aside)
So.

[Amanda sounds...indifferent. Not honestly indifferent; it's got an air of practice to it, like she rehearsed her tone.]


I'm back.

[There isn't much she wants to say to the general population at the moment, all things considered, so...have her lackluster public announcement.]


[Private to Lua]

Are you back yet? [Please be back. Amanda's missed her like crazy.]

If you are, I'm sorry. I didn't expect to be gone so long, but I needed to wait for something.

[Private to Rhade]


[A little playfully:]
Miss me?

[Private to Hoffman]


[There's nothing on the network for him. Instead, she's left a newspaper in front of his door. It's an issue of the New York Times, dated 2003...a new 2003.

She's used a red marker to circle a small article: the announcement of Gideon Kramer's birth, the first child of renowned civil engineer John Kramer and Jill Tuck, his philanthropist wife
.]


[OOC: Sorry I vanished! I had to hiatus suddenly due to my perpetually shitty health.]
creatingalegacy: (up against the wall)
So. I'm sure everyone knows by now that Lua Klein graduated. I know she'll make an excellent warden.

[Amanda looks and sounds SO PROUD. That's her baby who did it, guys!]

I'm not leaving for good yet, but I'll be going home for a few days to make sure my deal takes effect.

[She shrugs a bit, smiling. It's pretty impossible for her to put how ecstatic she is about all of this into words.]

I don't know what else there is to say.


[Private to Rhade]


Mind if I stop by?

creatingalegacy: (exhausted)
[Amanda is very affected by this flood. Not only is she wearing a lot of makeup and dressed like nobody aboard has ever seen her--a miniskirt, a low-cut top, torn fishnet stockings--but she looks a little jittery, and there are sores on her inner elbows. Some are scabbed over, and some are old enough to be scarred up and down her arms, but others are fresh. It also looks like she hasn't washed her hair in a few days.

This is what happens when John is marginalized: he never tested her, so she never kicked her addiction. She's still a full-blown heroin addict, and a lot worse off than she was just before her test.]


I don't really know why I'm here. I mean, I know I got the offer to come, but I dunno why. Nobody I know is here, so it's not like I'm here to visit. And the whole existence of this place doesn't make any goddamn sense.

[She's in the pub. Dear god, she's in the pub, and she's got a drink in her hand. By drink, I mean "bottle of tequila."]

Place looks too nice for anyone I know.

Anyway, who cares. This place has a bar. A nice bar, and I don't have to pay shit. Anyone looking to party, get your asses down here. Name's Amanda. I can show you a good time.

[She puts the bottle down on the bar and lights herself a cigarette.]

creatingalegacy: (cautious)
[Amanda looks super serious.]

Amanda Young. New York City. 2006.

[She pauses, then hesitantly adds:]


..."Jigsaw."

If anyone I know has access to this, please respond.

[4TH WALL DAY THE HELL OUT OF HER, GUYS! Just no John Kramer or Jill Tuck.]

creatingalegacy: (small smile)
[This is sometime in the late morning on the first day of the flood.]

Am I the only one who's going to use some of this unexpected hiatus to do some character introspection?

[Linda Smith is dressed in a Mickey Mouse t-shirt and jeans. She's seated on the couch in her character's "room"--the set for it, that is--and is leafing through next episode's script. She gives off an air of personal casualness but is clearly giving a lot of attention to The Craft. Her voice, like Amanda's is small, but now it's not as loud and has none of the angry edge to it.]

For example...this moment. Scene 26. My character is conversing with Carolina's, and she's supposed to make a hand gesture. Thing is, I really feel that Amanda would use her left here. She's always been right-handed, but...I've begun to wonder if that's because I am. Should Amanda have been a lefty from the start? Did I just let my own personal handedness interfere with an important character trait?

[A pause, fully of heavy concentration.]

...then again, when so much of our fandom seems to think Amanda and Arthas are meant to be, I wonder how much of this analysis is wasted energy.

[A sigh, and she gently closes the script and sets it on the coffee table.]

I guess I could use a bit of a break after all. Anyone up for coffee? Lindsay? Teddy?

[That's her pet name for Theodore, her ~boyfriend~. A small smile.]

I'd like to get back to reviewing this evening, though. Everyone's welcome, of course! Especially people I have upcoming scenes with. We can do an informal line reading.

Sophie, if you want to practice your lines, we can meet up earlier in the day, too. You'll have my full attention.


[Linda Smith is a somewhat quiet, calm individual who is amiable with all her costars, as long as they treat her with respect too. She's best known for a variety of comedies and B-movies, including one where she played an oversexed, oblivious-to-everything ditz, and this is her first serious role in years. She really wants to do it right and prove she's cut out for drama, so she can go pretty overboard.]

creatingalegacy: (nurturing)
[There's a lengthy pause of just Amanda breathing before she speaks.]

You know, I'd decided to make some sort of grand speech over all this. Something cold and at least partially snide, I'm sure. Now that I've got this thing turned on, though...I can't think of a single goddamn thing I want to say.

Funny.


[Private to Lua]

Lua? Check in with me, please. I need to know how you're taking this development.


[Private to Simone]

I know you said to leave you alone, but...shit.

If you feel like you need to scream at someone--to really rail on them, throw things at them, whatever the fuck--hit me up. Not because I want to spare Hoffman anything, but because I'll never really trust his self-control.

I lost things to him, too, so if I can just do this...
creatingalegacy: (sobbing)
[On the third day of port, Amanda tracked her inmate down. She had expected it would be difficult to drag Lua back to the Barge--the woman didn't remember her--but not impossible. She hadn't known that Lua had gone Repo during her fall overboard.

When Amanda draws her gun, she accidentally snags her little wrist-communicator on her belt, and the audio turns on. She calls out cautiously.]


[AUDIO]

Lua...?

Great. As if this place isn't bad enough, you're hanging around a fuckin' cemetery. Lua, it's me. I know you're here--

[She had expected it to be hard. She hadn't expected Lua to have died before she could make it there, and her breath catches in her throat.]

Oh god. No, no--

[She's running now; it's audible. She caught sight of a clump of Lua's hair peeking out from behind a headstone, and sure enough...it's her inmate, neck broken. A thud can be heard as Amanda falls to her knees. Another thud comes as she drops her gun on the ground beside her.]

Come on...

[None of this can be heard, but...

She feels for her pulse; there isn't one. She tries to pull her to a sitting postion, to figure out what she hell happened, and her head flops around at a sickening angle.]


Oh, god...I'm sorry. I'm so fuckin' sorry, Lua. This is my fault. If I had been faster...!

[She starts to cry, and that can be heard.]

All my fault.

[This continues or a few minutes, the crying and apologies, before Amanda struggles to collect herself. She still isn't aware her communicator is on, so when she turns on video, she thinks that's the first broadcast she's made.]



[VIDEO]

[The footage transmitted is of Lua, lying dead. Her head is on Amanda's lap, and Amanda is affectionately untangling Lua's hair with her free hand. Lua's eyes are closed, and her hands have been folded across her abdomen.]

This is Lua Klein. She's my inmate. My friend.

[Amanda's voice is steadier, but cold. Dangerous.  Her former bragging tone is gone.]

I don't know who did this to her, but I'm going to find out. Then I'll find you, and I'll kill you. Then I'll cut my way through as many of you Repo fucks as I can.

[Amanda aims the camera at herself. She's taken off her mask, and her face looks like hell, but she wants whoever killed Lua to know exactly who she is.]

Remember my face, because it's the last thing you'll fuckin' see.
creatingalegacy: Amanda, pointing a gun and looking resolved. (resolved)
I've got a question for everyone who entered port: who else is lined up to be legally murdered?

[Amanda is leaning up against a wall in some random alley, appearing to define the concept of not a single fuck being given that day. Inside, she's actually worried over several things, not the least of which is concern for her inmate. According to the message she received, her repossession was set to take place three weeks ago, and someone is looking for her right now.]

I've got a few messages for the "repossession" organization, if they can even hear this. Message one: I never bought a single goddamn thing from you people, let alone a heart. I was born with the one I've got. My heart belongs to me.

Message two: if you plan on stealing it anyway, go ahead and try. Consider this an invitation. See how far that gets you.

[Morgana's the one who's going to be gunning for her, so please don't send any other Repo men her way in a spam or log! All Repo men and Bargelings who chose to come are welcome to respond to this post, though~]


Final message: my inmate fell overboard. If you people have her, and you hurt her...I will mow through every single one of you motherfuckers without hesitation. That's a promise.

[Pause. Now her worried state is starting to bleed through, becoming detectable.]

That's done. If anyone at all knows the whereabouts of Lua Klein, tell me. I need to find her.


[Private to Lua]

Are you okay? Has anyone hurt you? Tell me where you are, please.
creatingalegacy: (waking up)
[Private to George Crabtree]

That never happened. Any of it. Mention it to anyone and I'll deny it.

[All of the awkward.]

Don't mention it to your inmate.


[Private to Prefect]

That never happened. I never asked you for romantic advice because I don't have those feelings. Understand?


[Private to Lua]

I am...so fuckin' sorry I blew you off like that. It was the flood. It made me obsess over some guy.

[You can practically hear the shudder. WHAT IS ROMANCE.]

I don't have those feelings when I'm myself. It won't happen again.

Are you okay?

creatingalegacy: (hurry!)
[Amanda stands outside George's door for a few minutes, shifting her weight from foot to foot. She doesn't get "crushes" anymore; if she can't stick someone in a trap and then present the recording to George as a token of her affections, what other way is there to grab his attention? That always worked for John.

She had to find a different way to show him that she'd taken notice of him, and what better way than to exercise her quiet stalking skills? Carefully, she slips the manilla envelope she holds under his door. Inside are candid photographs she'd taken of George throughout the day: in the corridors, eating in the dining hall, etc. Atop these is a little note, written in her most flowery handwriting (which really isn't at all flowery, just less cramped and rushed), that reads "I've been observing you."

She means it in the most benign way possible.

That done, she knocks loudly on his door and sprints around the corner, to watch without being seen.]
creatingalegacy: (stern)
[Amanda's got her communicator set up on the itty little dining table in her cabin; she's sitting before it, one injured hand set very gently atop the other. It's nice to have someplace other than a shitty old bed to sit and broadcast from.]

Good thing the distraction worked. I didn't have enough time to build everything up to my standard--especially those fuckin' shotgun gauntlets. Recoil was a bitch.

[Her hands and arms are mottled the same horrible purple they've been for days.]


The bruises haven't faded. If it continues, I'll have to open up my forearms and evacuate the hematomas myself. Not my idea of a good time, but I'm responsible for someone else's safety now and I can't protect her when I'm all fucked up like this.

Anyway, I just wanna say...thanks. To the people who fought alongside me.


[PRIVATE TO LUA]


We need to talk. In person.

Today.

[Pause.]


You're not in trouble. I just need to say a few things.

creatingalegacy: (cautious)
[When the camera comes on, Amanda's room is visibly different; the bleak concrete warehouse space turned into a very small studio apartment between her departure and return. The apartment is pretty sparsely furnished, but it still looks much less stark and cold than her former setup.

Amanda herself looks fine, if a bit anxious. She feels incredibly out of place as a warden, but she's determined.]


So...

[There's slightly awkward pause.]


I'm back.

[Yet another, but shorter, pause.]

How long has it been since I left, in Barge-time? I spent two weeks in New York. Y'know, checking out what I left behind, setting things in order, that kind of shit. Getting closure.

[She resettles herself in the chair she's occupying, sitting up straighter and projecting an image of greater confidence. Even if she doesn't quite feel it, she wants everyone to think she does. Even her voice sounds more assured, bordering on her good ol' cocksure tone.]


I know I just got back and everything, but I'm all ready for the Admiral to give me an inmate. Can't start soon enough, as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, are there warden positions open in maintenance and repair or the engine room? Working with my hands helps me focus.

[She definitely has more detailed things to say about her trip, but right now, only to people she knows she can trust; at a later date, when it isn't all so fresh, she'll likely talk about it on a public filter.]
creatingalegacy: (nurturing)
[Amanda is on her bed, seated, as usual. This time, she's wearing a coat, and there's a backpack next to her on the mattress. It looks stuffed pretty full, and it is--clothing, toiletries, and a few personal trinkets. There's an expression on her face that is hard to describe; an approximation might be serenity, but it's not nearly that peaceful. She'll probably never feel a peace that complete for the rest of her life. Rehabilitation, no matter how effective, can't heal every scar. She still has demons to live with, and she speaks slowly and carefully.]

My name is Amanda Young, and until today, I was an inmate. For a short time, back in my world, I served as apprentice and successor to a serial killer. The police, the FBI, the press and the other citizens knew him as Jigsaw. I knew him as John Kramer, savior and surrogate father, and I loved him. There's nothing I wouldn't have done for him; I wanted to be exactly what he wanted me to be. Nothing but his love mattered to me, not even the lives of other people, even when my conscience was screaming--and yes, I had one, even when I worked with him. I've rebuilt it over the past couple of years, and it's not perfect--there are still gaps--but even in the cases where I can't bring myself to feel remorse for the victims, I feel remorse over what happened to the innocents around them.

[She takes a breath and holds it for a moment before releasing it, slowly.]


I don't regret the pain I caused Eric Matthews, the man who sent me to prison with false charges and planted evidence, but I regret the pain it caused his son. That's one thing I never really considered, while I was busy torturing and killing people I thought deserved it--that what I did hurt more than just the test subjects. They left behind families and friends who hadn't done anything, who had to mourn and grieve the way I've mourned John and Jill here. I didn't equate my suffering with the suffering of the people my victims left behind. How the fuck could I, when I viewed everyone as subhuman and disposable when compared to the two of them?

That changed when I spoke to Daniel Matthews again. I saw the aftermath of what I'd done to someone I cared about, right up close, and I couldn't lie to myself anymore. Our suffering, our grief, was the same. All the families of all the victims...I caused the same pain for them that made me beg to die with John and Jill, and I wish to fuckin' god I could take it back.

[She shakes her head.]

The instincts I had burned into me--to hurt and kill--they won't just go away completely. I'm...better, now, a lot better, but there may be a time in the future when I want to do something sadistic. I may live with that impulse until the day I die. That doesn't mean I need to give in to that desire. It doesn't mean I can't do good. I can be caring and nurturing, and I can love; some of you have even seen it. I'm not a monster unless I allow myself to be one, and people resist their basest impulses every day, right?

I still name John as my father, and Jill, my mother. I probably always will. I've accepted that they're not infallible, that John committed and Jill perpetuated atrocities, that the two of them fucked with my head and hurt me, but I forgive them for everything they did to me, and I'll always love them. I know that in their own, fucked-up way, they loved me too, and that's why I need to do this.

I'm going home. I don't know how long it will take in this place's screwy sense of time, but after a couple weeks in my world, I'll return a warden. I've got a deal to make, one that will fix everything, but first I need to pay their resting place a visit and see what we left behind.

I am...truly sorry for the pain I've caused any of you while I was desperately trying to maintain my ignorance. I wish the people I tested could hear me say it. And to all the friends I've made, all the people who believed in me, whether they're still here to hear this or not...

[She gives a tiny shrug, and yes, there are the beginnings of tears in her eyes.]

Thank you.


[Private to Simone]

I avoided letting you see my face or know my name until now. I knew you would've remembered me from the media coverage.

I want you to know that I was never involved with your trap. It wasn't even designed until after my death.


[Private to Hoffman]

If you want to talk, let's talk.

creatingalegacy: Amanda coming to a realization. (realizing)
[Amanda is seated on her bed, leaning forward slightly as she looks into the camera, lower arms on her knees.]

I want to hear from all the wardens who used to be inmates. Particularly the ones who swore up and down that they'd never become wardens.

What made you change your minds, and how the hell did you adjust?

[Perhaps surprisingly, she looks completely sincere.]

creatingalegacy: (unease)
I was wrong. There is a way.

I was just too fuckin'...willfully ignorant to see it.
creatingalegacy: (flood - child - neutral)
[Oh look kids, it's Amanda! She's using the video function, as usual, but this time she's also roughly eight years old. She's even small for her age as a kid, and she's sitting on the floor near her bed, colorful wrapping paper strewn around her. She's holding a teddy bear, and there's some kind of Barbie set still in a box at her side. She's also wearing a horrendous Christmas sweater (minus those stupid ornaments).]

I don't know where I am, or how I got here, but...I got presents. Are these really for me?

[She speaks quietly and averts her eyes from the camera every few seconds. It's obvious that this isn't adult-Amanda in a kid's body. She gives the teddy bear a squeeze.]

Can I stay here?


[Comments won't import; located here.]
creatingalegacy: (everything you need to know is on this)

[Private to 21, VOICE]

We need to talk.


[Private to Hoffman, VOICE]

I'm guessing you've already seen the new arrival.

[Amanda knows Simone from having watched Saw VI and Saw 3D with Sarah.]


[Private to Admiral Claus, TEXT]

Read more... )
creatingalegacy: (gasping for breath)
So I smashed one of the little winged bastards with a book. Didn't kill it, but I knocked it out of the air.

[Amanda is standing in her room, one arm crossed tightly over her chest while her free hand holds her communicator out before her. Unfortunately, this attempt to hide the effects of this flood doesn't obscure the fact that her (as per usual) form-fitting shirt is clearly strained and that her breasts are quite a bit bigger than they normally are. "Quite a bit" meaning "slightly above even Jill Tuck level." She's visibly both aggravated and embarrassed.]

...I need a bigger fuckin' shirt. Someone better be willing to lend.

[There's some teensy laughter in the background. IT'S THE GODDAMN FAIRY, finding glee in her predicament.]

And for the record, I regret ever envying Jill's "assets." This fucking sucks!

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creatingalegacy: Amanda holding the edge of a knife to her lips in a "be quiet" gesture. (Default)
Amanda Young

January 2020

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